Newsletter: Don't Eat That Sandwich! Plus, I may have committed career suicide....
Ticonderoga Learning & Talent Newsletter
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Provide Better Feedback
Surveys!
Professional & Personal Updates
Don't Eat That Sandwich!
You've heard of the "feedback sandwich" before. It's where start off saying something positive, followed by something constructive (what you really want to convey), finished with something positive to end on a good note. Sandwiching the harsh parts between the good stuff makes it more palatable (apparently).
I've also erroneously heard this referred to as the "feedback Oreo" and as an Oreo connoisseur, I take particular offense to the notion that the filling is somehow the "harsh" stuff. Every part of an Oreo is perfect - end of story.
Here's the point: Don't give feedback this way. Why not? Because it will likely have suboptimal impact.
How come? Another great question! My aggressive hypothesis: This approach is universally suboptimal, but the specific reasons why are dependent on the psychological sophistication of the recipient.
Some experts, such as the folks at the World of Work Project, cite a common criticism of the sandwich approach: All the "good stuff" will drown out the constructive feedback. The thought here is that the message that truly needs to be conveyed - the "harsh" part in the middle of that sandwich - will be on an already underperformer. That is probably true for a specific recipient; mainly, someone who has a psychological need to avoid negativity, proclivity to deflect, and struggles with self-reflection and objective interpretation of criticism. Such a person could easily overemphasize the positive parts of the sandwich in an effort to create or maintain an illusion of themselves that is psychologically necessary for stasis.
But what about the more emotionally savvy recipient who is able to tolerate constructive feedback or outright criticism?
Well, they might still fall victim to overemphasizing the sandwich bread slices. Positioning the positive messaging both first and last plays right into the hands of anchoring and recency biases. But for those more sophisticated individuals (most of us) I suspect there's another reason this approach is suboptimal: They know what we're doing.
We're not fooling anyone. The average person of moderate emotional intelligence knows that we're really trying to deliver the "harsh" stuff in as generous a way possible. They know this either because the sandwich approach is widely known, or more simply, that when hearing this approach in action, they intuitively interpret us as first trying to butter-them-up-for-bad-news and later trying to send-them-off-feeling-good. To this person, the feedback sandwich is at best a well-intended but unimpressive maneuver, or at worst can be perceived outright condescending and lacking trust.
This all reveals a fundamental truth about the sandwich: It's much more beneficial for the provider than the recipient. We use the feedback sandwich to make it easier for us to give constructive feedback, and we do so under the guise of crafting a message optimally for the recipient.
So if the sandwich is poisoned, what should we do instead?
There are a variety of more helpful frameworks for feedback (SBI, COIN/COILED, CEDAR and many others) that all have a few common elements.
First, start out by setting the context for the conversation. Then, describe the facts of what was observed and connect actions to their impact. Finally, make a plan to move forward.
Most models will rightly stress that the impact element is absolutely critical. Connecting the recipient's actions to their impact/outcomes is critical to generating ownership and creating buy-in for improvement. However, I think there's an opportunity for further tailoring!
Ideally, we can cite the type of impact most likely to resonate with the recipient. For example, some may be truly motivated by seeing the financial impact of their actions at the organization-wide level. Others may be more driven by how their actions impacted their team member, or their manager's perception of them, or their chances at a promotion. A little precision can go a long way.
That's where data from assessment tools can come in handy. Whether we draw on the simpler tools like of MBTI, DISC, Insights, etc., or more sophisticated psychometrics like the Motives, Values, and Preferences Inventory, we can learn a lot about what type of impact statements will be most likely to spurn positive actions from feedback discussions.
So when you're giving feedback, avoid the sandwich. Instead, utilize an approach that is more direct and prescriptive and tailor it to the motivators of the recipient when possible.
Surveys
I've been underutilizing you.
It's true. I have.
I'm quite proud that the audience for this newsletter features hundreds of very talented, thoughtful, accomplished professionals. Many of you are in significant positions of formal authority at your organizations.
So it occurred to me recently that there's a lot of collective wisdom that I'm not harnessing! To help change this, I'm going to be featuring some monthly quick-poll surveys and share back the results with everyone.
This first survey is a six-question poll about meetings. Yes, meetings. Give it a go. It will take you less than one minute.
Professional & Personal News
Charlotte is doing well and absolutely loving "school". After an hour or so of play in the morning, she grabs her shoes and pats on the front door. She continues to develop new words everyday and has a cute head full of golden curls. Now, please someone teach her to sleep.
I published a highly-personal essay - "" - on my physical and mental fitness during the pandemic in "The Positive Split". I'd love for you to check it out.
For April Fool's Day, I put together a goofy little video that I shared to LinkedIn. In doing so, I may have committed career suicide? We'll see. But in case that's true... if anyone does happen to know anyone at Peloton, I think I might be a decent instructor....
I'm thinking of hosting a virtual open-cohort of the Extreme Presentation course later this spring. It would likely be two sessions of 2.5 hours each. Let me know if you're interested in attending!
That's it for this edition - please reach out if I can be at all helpful.
Stay safe, get outside (but still socially distant)! Be compassionate and intentional.